Can You Come Down from There Please? The Late Stages of The Burnout Ladder®

The distinct rungs of this late stage of the ladder are DISENGAGEMENT and EMBERS. The former has two meanings. One is that you have stepped away from caring about the job and the other is that you are probably avoiding social contact. While the first is concerning for you and your employer, as well as your productivity, the bigger worry is not connecting with people. 

 

A huge part of our mental wellness comes from our cooperation and relationships with others. When we cut off this supply of warmth, inspiration, and support, we tend to curl up into a ball of worry and doubt. It’s not just the loneliness. It is the endless rumination that we bury ourselves in as we start to feel some concern about what others are up to. It is a naturally evolved human tendency to know how we are thought of by other members of the tribe. When our brain is at so-called rest (although it never really does stop working), that is what it spends its time doing, anticipating what others are thinking and doing. 

Unfortunately for us, at this stage of burnout, our confidence is low. We have lost a sense of ourselves and capacity for kindness to everyone else as well as any feelings of self-compassion. And this is vital for wellbeing too. Self-kindness builds up levels of serotonin (mood-booster) and dopamine (aiding the reward systems of the brain) and is like an anti-depressant drug without the unpleasant side effects. 

 

So, although you may feel like hiding under the duvet, the best thing to do is to get out and talk to someone, start re-creating connections. If nothing else, by asking questions about someone else’s life, it will take you away from your own troubles and give you a different perspective. In this age of digital obsession, we look at our phones rather than talk to a stranger on a bus. If you only take the time, ask questions about them, you might learn something, and it may give you a calibration that your life need not feel so bad after all. I sat and had a pint in my local yesterday, on my own, until a chap came to sit by me. My initial reaction was one of slight indignation that my peace had been invaded, and that I had to put down a book I was reading. We got talking; he excitedly but wearily showed me on his map that he had just undertaken an 8-mile hike. He told me that he had bowel cancer three years ago and had been operated on. All seemed well now, and he was just enjoying life. I was absorbed in his story and forgot all about my troubles for a while. What is more, I got a feeling of human connection. It is unlikely I will ever see this passing stranger again, but we had a moment together as human beings. 

Important in this section also is re-discovering the at of play. What is it about growing up and older does it mean that we have to stop playing, of losing those feelings of joy we had as children? All work and no play…? Not for me. Part of a balanced week of earning and learning needs to involve some play time. I like it when adults going down to the pub joke when they call you or knock on your door and say “ are you coming out to play?” play can be that, or it can be throwing darts at a board, playing cards, arts and crafts – getting into the flow state of play is good for the brain as it focuses its energies on one thing and stops flitting about from thought to thought. 

 

Simple tools and some self-attention can prevent burnout and restore a path to wellbeing. Don’t forget that others have a big role for you to help you (and vice versa even though you might not be consciously aware of that), and that you can re-discover some joy from simply playing. 

Please come down off this ladder now. This is high enough. It is definitely not too late. You can still help yourself here. Nobody has to pick up the pieces as that ladder starts to burn. It’s all going to be OK. 

 

If you feel like you are burning out then don’t worry, it happens to so many of us for one reason or another. You can order my book on Amazon or contact me for help and guidance – or do both!