Is Your Perfectionism Causing Burnout? Lessons from Recovery of a Hypnotherapist’s Sporting Injury

Let me introduce Carol, whose story is one of misfortune, a gun-barrelled focus to get better after serious injury, and enlightenment from a realisation of how she was burning herself out in the bid to be free of her sick bed. 

 

Carol Heptonstall lives in Yorkshire, and after giving up nursing, became a hypnotherapist and mindfulness teacher. I came to know her because she attended one of my courses aimed at therapists who wish to have more insight into recognising and dealing with burnout in their clients. (details below) Google searches on the term have more than tripled worldwide in the last 5 years (sources: Google trends on term ‘burnout’), and it is linked with job stress, but also anxiety in general. Suffering with workplace anxieties can also be a result of a habitual tendency to chronic stress arising from any aspect of modern life. So, for example, a relationship issue can affect a person so much that they do not perform at work, and this leads to an anxiety that can manifest as burnout even if it’s not the root cause. And that’s not even to mention that workplaces are becoming generally more toxic and less caring. Sorry, but they are. Burnout is complicated, therefore, as it doesn’t just relate to workplace situations, but life experienced by the person as a whole. 

 

Carol’s tale introduces another dimension too. A keen runner and interested in sports, she proudly ran the London Marathon in 2022, and then weeks later was out running with her club, when a freak accident arose as she slipped on something hidden by some leaves, suffering a horrific fall, then realising she could not move the entire left side of her body. Fortunately, her fellow runners managed to get her up and carry her to safety. The injury must have been serious, she thought, as she recalls thinking that this is what it must be like to have a stroke. She was told by doctors that she would likely never walk again, need a stick at best, certainly never run, would be in constant pain, and would always refer to her left leg as her bad one. 

 

She was bed-bound for months, but with a determination to prove the medics wrong, and to start to enjoy life again, she went about the painful road to recovery. She did everything she was told to do and more, channelling her drive to be better into single-minded focus to get back on her feet. It seems the one thing you need to do for Carol’s ambition is to tell her that she couldn’t do something. She admitted the trait to me herself, but by then I had already detected a certain Yorkshire stubbornness! 

 

One day, she felt her little toe move, a sensation she had not experienced since the accident, and this was a moment of jubilation. If the toe could move, then it showed her nerves were healing and she was on the way to get better. But then impatience set in, and she pushed herself ever harder to be back to normal. When her body started to move more, she challenged her degree of knee bend to be greater than the expected benchmark at her stage of progress. Everything needed to move quickly and to be the best outcome possible. She was so dedicated that she bought brand new walking boots and wore them in bed. Is this the competitiveness of the athlete or the need of the nurse to have everything just so? Carol confirms that she likes everything to be just right and is 

 

highly process driven. This seems to have worked for her in her whole life so why not in recovering from a life-changing injury? 

 

Well, yes and no. As she talked, having some distance between her and what must have been a panic-inducing and terrifying ordeal, Carol reflected that she was on the burnout ladder in her recovery, and specifically around the middle stages of Cynicism. Her determination and drive for success will have no doubt propelled her forwards, but she also acknowledges that her lack of patience would have held her back too. A constant assault on the nervous system with the stress and pressure she was placing on an injured body impedes healing. After attending the course, she could see herself on the ladder, impatience abiding, self-confidence eroding, the self-critic rampant. Why can’t I get better? The pressure applied by a brain only wanting to help actually stamps all over the delicate healing of the body just wanting to take one thing after another, like a simple flower opening when it is ready to do so. 

 

Here is the dichotomy. Perfectionism is the oil in the engine of the potential burnout-ee. It binds us to our outputs, blindly pushing us beyond limits and expectations. Its unforgiving demands however, if left unchecked, can strip us of confidence, create tension where none should exist, and perversely, prevent us from being at our best. We end up disappointed, hugely self-critical and avoiding life for fear of letting ourselves down. On the other hand, the drive to be best, like the competitiveness of the runner shoulder to shoulder with their friend on the road - just wanting to be faster than them – this is the power of improvement; competition makes us better, even when competing with ourselves. And this drive to win creates moments which thrill and inspire others to do the same, to push and improve. In sport, memorable rivalries, the need to outdo the opposition have provided exhilarating drama which become part of our own inspiration – Ali vs. Frazier, Real Madrid vs. Barcelona, Seabiscuit vs. War Admiral. The emotion tied up in these battles only exists because of single minded dedication of the protagonists, and there is something inside us which knows we need to push if we want to be the best. 

 

It is of course tough to change one’s nature, and would Carol’s approach have been any different to her recovery had she known she was burning out in doing so? We will never actually know, but what she has learned since is the value in simply being aware. She would have known how she was reacting to herself and her situation through a different and more useful lens. She knows how the mind and body work of course as a therapist and former nurse, but when you’re in a bind yourself, it is hard to see the forest for the trees. She knows that she needs to work with her internal human wiring rather than against it. 

 

Carol had an operation and ten months later was out running again, no doubt smiling at all those gloomy predictions after that freak accident. She clearly was doing many things right but has learned that she can help herself more by detaching from the process and applying a structured analysis. And this is what she likes about The Burnout Ladder. She uses it now with her clients, especially the questionnaire tool to visualise potential pitfalls, but also progress, as another way to assess whether they might be on this particular path and importantly, getting them to understand themselves better as to why they are behaving this way. A client of hers, also a runner who got injured (doing something else) was clearly at the Cynicism rung themselves. Why can’t I get better? The self-critic imposes itself and makes matters worse, questioning the point of all this work when we don’t seem to be progressing. All of this Carol had experienced herself, so is well-placed to offer guidance. 

 

Using the mindful principles of Acceptance and Gratitude has helped Carol herself. She does not take unnecessary risks so stays away from fallen leaves when she runs, if at all possible, and doesn’t run in the dark so she can see potential dangers and obstacles better. This is not avoidance; it is common sense and learning from experience. She knows she has limitations. The body gets older and we can’t always do what we once did. Replacing any self-criticism and wistfulness in that inevitability with some gratitude increases her mood and her enjoyment of her hobby and of life in general. She loves the mantra “I GET to go running”, rather than entertaining thoughts of her reduced ability as time goes by. She won’t burn out while adopting this approach, but she will stay safe, enjoy her running, and if my guess is right, beat her personal best records more often than she might have done without such a gratitude-focused mind. 

 

Carol is a successful hypnotherapist and mindfulness coach. She has a seriousness and professionalism about her but a sense of lightness which her clients will find freeing and full of potential. She is also a passionate advocate of The Burnout Ladder and recommends the book to anyone who may be on that journey. You can find her and learn about her work on https://wellbeing-pathways.co.uk/ 

Listen to our conversation to gain direct insight from Carol on her inspiring story, and how she has learned to move on from serious injury. 

 

 

You can find out more about my course The Burnout Ladder, aimed at hypnotherapists on https://goldleaftraining.com/the-burnout-ladder/. This is a collaboration with Gold Leaf Training, who offer many more valuable courses for therapists. 

 

And you can simply visit https://www.rightmindfulness.co.uk/the-burnout-ladder/ to order the book, get a free assessment, or find out how I can help you prevent burnout as an individual or a team of people.