Stop trying to control outcomes - fix the inputs instead and enjoy the moments.
Posted on 16th July 2023 at 17:04
The need for control is all pervading for humans. I hear it all the time in the therapy room. A client’s happiness can depend solely upon their ability to maintain control of their environment and their lives, and they can be anxiety-ridden when it is taken away.
If this is the case for you, consider this. Ever heard of Chaos theory? It’s the mathematical principle that small changes to starting conditions can lead to huge changes in results. The incomparable Jeff Goldbloom demonstrated this in the movie Jurassic Park, when he showed a drip of water running down his fist. Repeating the experiment, he started with the drip in the same place, yet the path of the water ended up running down his hand in totally different directions.
Life is chaos. We might think it’s simple but it is hugely complex. There are so many variables which can push our paths off course, however predictable we might think it should be.
So is it pointless to try and control an outcome, to will things to be a certain way? Well, a lot of the time and for the more complicated matters of life - yes! Let go of control of the outcome and focus your energies instead on the inputs. The only thing you can do is get those as right as you can.
It might be simple daily routines to exercise (input) if your intended outcome is to get fit. You might want to work smarter at planning your week (input) if you want to be organised and have less stress (outcome).
You see the difference? Those outcomes depend on so many factors, such as external environments, illness and injury, or other people’s priorities for you.
The only thing you can do is celebrate your efforts going in to the thing, and not worry about the final result. Let go of it. And if you do, It’s like taking a weight off your back.
This will help you too, if you are stuck getting started on something major like a big project. Once you have decided what you want to achieve, stop focusing on the daunting end goal and do the small things that lead up to it. It will also help you enjoy the moments more as you go. Build your consistent small daily habits and forget control. It doesn’t exist.
Hypnotherapist & Certified Mindfulness Instructor Worcestershire
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